There has been a sudden upsurge in talks pertaining to mental health all over the social media. And this got me thinking if I had ever been put through a mental strain of such intensity in my lifetime. And indeed I have. The only thing is that mental health was not a ‘trending’ subject back then.
So here’s what happened. I was in my first year in college. And Facebook was just booming out. One evening I was scolded by a couple of seniors for something that I had no part with. I was frustrated. So like all overly sensitive and highly intellectual college kids, I blasted it out on Facebook. Of course I did not disclose the details, I barely expressed my displeasure. But that post exploded. An emergency hostel meeting was called in. Printouts of my posts were taken out. An action committee was formed. An announcement was made in the hostel for the entire batch to come out. I was picked up and led straight into a room full of seniors. An explanation was sought. Things seemed pretty normal to me till then. I thought this would boil down after a while. But eventually, more people joined and they took the entire batch to even more senior batches. This is where the hell broke loose. The entire hostel was called in. I was made to stand in the middle. The printouts were circulated around. A majority of the people couldn’t understand what the post was. So one of my batch-mates with a decent grasp on english was called in and asked to translate it for everyone to understand. Then began the hurling of abuses, of threats. One of them picked me by my collar. He didn’t hit me. I was seemingly weak and he feared I might collapse. So he dragged out my closest friend and started slapping him until I spoke or justified my actions. Eventually, after an hour or two a few sensible seniors stepped in took me away. The meeting was then dismissed.
But the damage had been done. I could barely sleep that night. My legs shivered. The next morning was the worst. I had to reach the classroom amidst all those staring eyes. For the next couple of weeks, I could look no one in the eye. I would talk to no one. I was shaken. And that was the first time that I experienced depression. I felt guilty of myself all the time. I even wanted to run away from college.
The only thing that held me together was my batch-mates. Almost all of them stood by me in those difficult times. Even the ones that I rarely spoke to, had extended their support towards me. And although I knew that there was nothing that anyone could do, their support helped ease things.
It's been nine years now. And I have let go of all the grudge I had for all those people (some of them are good friends now), except for that one guy who slapped my friend (he will always be a villain in this story) . What still bothers me at times is that many seniors did realize that something wrong was happening, yet none of them stood up to defend. And none of them bothered to check on my mental status after all of the harassment. It took me a while but eventually I learned standing up for myself. And the facebook posts kept on coming (some people still call me Facebook)!
The only thing that I want to highlight here is that we often see mental harassment of a certain degree happening around us. It could be by our friends or relatives. But if you fail to act, you are as guilty as the one who is doing it. Just a random thought!
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